Goggle bow

Look at what I did for my friend Jazmin’s son’s birthday party! He’s really into volcanoes and is having a volcano themed party, so I got him a foam volcano model and wrapped it with a goggle-bow (because scientists ALWAYS wear goggles, especially when out in the field taking volcano measurements*).

The things from which I derive extreme pride are sort of funny and counter-intuitive. Master’s degree? No. Publications? No. Any sort of job triumphs? No. Peeps diorama wins? Yes. People favoring one of my Flickr photos? Yes. Awesome present-wrapping skillz? Double Yes.

I’m not UN-ambitious, it’s just that my ambitions don’t fall within our widely accepted categories of ambitions (money, fame, power, money, power). For example, this summer, when I was deep in the study of the Enlightenment, I came up with this idea to create some sort of pop-up book for the history of science, with the advent over time of major ideas (from the Western perspective, of course) and figures: the pre-Socratic Heraclitus in a robe with his idea of stepping into a river twice and it being a completely different river on up to Marie Curie in conservative dress discovering radioactivity. How fun! The scientists would pop up in their labs (or near rivers as the case may be), and have interesting conversations that give the reader an understanding of their importance. This would be geared towards elementary school where the study of science is pretty lackluster. The pop-ups would also be white, so the students could color Heraclitus whatever color they wanted!

I should also note that in high school, my career goals included hairdresser and manager of the Natural Wonders store where I worked (that store was awesome, but a quick Google search confirms that it no longer exists (but did carry a CD called “Thunderstorms”). I used my employee discount to get so many killer animal t-shirts and nature sounds CDs, in addition to a didgeridoo on clearance. I was that kind of high school kid.).

Today, my career goal briefly became to open an extreme present-wrapping business (by extreme, I mean that I’ve decided that part of the present gets made into the bow: new wrapping strategy!). Unfortunately, I’d need my present-wrapping venture to pay at least 50K a year with health insurance, which is probably not going to happen.

*not really. On a side note, the live episode of 30 Rock was awesome for many reasons, one of them was when Dr. Spaceman used the phrase “for science reasons”! NWB and I love to joke around ironically about the authority of science in our industrialized Western society and will sometimes preface statements with, “according to science”.

Here's a cool picture NWB took at the aquarium a few weeks ago:

It’s hard to believe that I’ve been alone during the day for only 2 weeks (visitors and NWB-on-spring-break have meant constant company). I don’t do particularly well on my own. When I have other people around, I am a bit calmer and make less ambitious to-do lists. When I’m by myself, with no one to moderate me, I tend to become a wee bit obsessed with filling every minute of the day with something I want to do.

In the last 48 hours I have:
1. read 2 memoirs
2. gone to a total of 5 stores
3. made eggplant parmesan and Trisha Yearwood’s vegetable side dish
4. gone on two epic, multi-mile walks
5. swiffered like a mad woman
6. finished 2 of my ridiculous online courses to clear my credential
7. consumed 2 iced mochas

I’m sure there’s stuff I’ve leaving out, but in general, I can’t seem to decompress and just nap all day/stare at the wall, which is what I feel like I should be doing. Instead, when the baby is asleep, I feel like I need to go do a bunch of stuff. I also make the same bad decision every single day and that is to not go to bed with the baby. Instead, I stay up to read, or watch FNL/old SNL clips/movies. Last night, I decided to try going to bed early and of course, I felt great today. But who wants to go to bed at 8? Going to bed early also means it’s taken me 3 days to watch Wet, Hot American Summer, and that just seems weird.

New maternity leave goals:
1. Try out more recipes from People magazine (every recipe has the celebrity who created it as a part of the name. “Sir Paul McCartney’s Spinach Pie”.)
2. Try every kind of fish taco at Rubio’s (in the mall. So far I’ve conquered battered cod, salmon and shrimp).

Thoughts on the memoirs of female comedians that I have read:
1. Tina Fey: Funny, but definitely holding back, emotionally. I also think she’s possibly a little too calculating and too PC, which leads me to think she might have some right wing tendencies.
2. Rachel Dratch: Funny and vulnerable (with a little bit broken in there), due to her horrendous Hollywood experiences.
3. Mindy Kaling: Hilarious, without any truly horrible experiences to make her jaded or give her an edge. Also, might be a little bit of a mean girl (just a vibe I get).

If I had to rate them in order of people I’d want to hang out with, it’d probably go: Dratch, Kaling, Fey (I KNOW, it pains me too). I’ll take “a little broken” over hilarious any day. And I can’t even understand how to deal with emotionally unavailable. The one take away message I got from the Dratch and Kaling memoirs is: Dartmouth is a WASP-y haven that may (Dratch) or may not (Kaling) suck.

The baby gets more fun every day (I can make him smile now which I approach with the excitement of a 10 year boy at the arcade. It’s my daily challenge to figure out what combination of noises and bodily movements will elicit the best smile and a grunt-like laugh). I still cannot believe that some people are back at work already and others will be in a few weeks. It takes about 2 months to figure out how to take care of a baby and then I think you need at least a few months to find a parenting rhythm and bond. We are a truly a country of heartless monsters.

Tummy Time success(!)....

is often followed by failure

Jiro Dreams of Sushi

Theo and I went to another diaper days movie in honor of his two month birthday (really, in honor of my deep love of movies and coincidentally on his two month birthday). There were only 3 other moms there, which means that a Japanese documentary about sushi is apparently not appealing to many people with babies. But it was so good! The only problem with watching a subtitled film with a baby is that when the baby needs some attending to, you miss out on what’s happening, because you have to stop reading. But never mind--I still loved it. It was broadly about family, cultural norms, reputations, work, art and of course, sushi.

My most prevalent thoughts while watching it were about the importance of working at becoming better at something that is meaningful to you. NWB and I had just discussed how painting will never again be at the level it was during the Renaissance (that is to say, off the hook!) because we live in such a fast-paced, money-driven society that no patron would support an artist for 10 years while they worked on their art. We want profits and time can hinder that. Also, no one (well, maybe there are SOME people) wants art for the sake of beauty/creation anymore. If there were such a patron, I imagine they’d want some sort of payback in the end. I read Just Kids this summer about Patti Smith and Robert Mapplethorpe and HE had a patron (who also happened to be his lover).

I was also trying to figure out what careers take on the tones of an art (those that will never be finished/perfect or have an end, but should always move forward in some way. Also, the kinds of careers at which one changes how it’s done in a creative way). Obviously the arts and cooking fit the mold. I also thought that being an academic/researcher, doctor and teacher fit the mold. They are the only professions I can think of that have so many years of training and/or working to get better. Most professions have a one month/6 month/whatever training period and then the job stays the same, or at least doesn’t change that much.

Anywhoo, here’s a cute picture of Theo sleeping. (he looks kind of small, but he's almost 12 pounds and long (my estimate is 24 inches)).

The haps

NWB turned 36 last week, officially beginning the long descent from youth to death (I assume 35 is the cutoff, right?). Our friends came over and made us fish tacos; presents were opened (and laughed at. Specifically my present of deodorant); pictures were taken. A good time was had by all.

His actual birthday was a few days later, and we went to the Monterey Bay Aquarium. It was fun, but Theo’s just not old enough to enjoy anything, as much as I will it upon him.

The day before the aquarium, I tried to take him to a 1-2-3 grow class, which is advertised for kids as young as 6 weeks. I’ve been waiting for MONTHS to be able to take him to little classes and on fun outings. I literally showed up at this class while he was still in his 6th week, but there was absolutely nothing he could do, as it was for toddlers. It was interesting in that I got to peer into the stay-at-home world and talk to some moms.

It was embarrassing in that I am a little socially inept people when I first meet a person and actually asked one of the moms if she was breastfeeding during the course of our conversation. Given the high emotions surrounding the issue of breastfeeding (but probably because breastfeeding occupies 90% of my thoughts and 50% of my day), it was a bad question to ask. She didn’t seem phased, but as soon as it exited my mouth I felt like a total ass. I am officially an awful new mother--who DOES that?

The next day, I went to the mall, where I ordered some fish tacos for lunch. I was alone and when my order was ready, the woman next to me offered to watch the baby, which I gladly accepted. Letting a stranger baby sit your kid in the mall (albeit for less than a minute) to go get some fish tacos? Who DOES that? All told, some questionable behavior is coming out of me.

I do have a nice nightly ritual going, however. After I put Theo down, I get into bed and re-watch episodes of Friday Night Lights on my Kindle Fire (via Netflix). That TV show is like comfort food to me. It’s got so much common sense advice and character development pouring out of it that I just can’t get enough. Also, Mrs. Coach Taylor’s pregnancy and new baby is now way more interesting to me (as is Joan’s new motherhood on Mad Men). I’m identifying with some of my favorite TV characters now!

I also watched the movie Limitless this week, which was truly awful. It was fairly compelling to watch, but the moral of the story is totally messed up. For a while, the message seemed to be that drugs were bad and wrecked your body, and then, inexplicably, the message became, “all you need to do to make drugs awesome is be able to control how much you take. Then you will be a handsome genius who has money and power.”. Which, you know, basically confirms every belief that every drug addict has about themselves and their addiction. Bradley Cooper speaks French!

NWB told me last week that he'd ordered some "decals" for Theo. I immediately became filled with the fear that a bunch of Disney or Winnie the Pooh decals were going to be placed somewhere in my home. When they arrived, I was pleasantly surprised to see that I did not mind them. They were insanely expensive, but perhaps worth it to fill Theo's field of vision with a hipster aesthetic?

Finally, Theo is almost two months old, and he’s started smiling, which really is the best thing in the world. I spend a lot of his awake time trying to coax the smiles out of him, but I am really bad at capturing it on camera.

This one is for lovers of Salonica (I love getting Hyde Park themed gifts! Also, he's mid-sneeze!):