One

I have cleaned up a little person’s poop for an entire year!  I thought by now he’d be talking, walking and a little more self-sufficient.  That he isn’t is sort of a good thing—he’s still a verifiable baby—and it makes one year seem slower, rather than like the runaway train you hear the bewildered parents of teenagers talk about.  When, however, I look back at pictures of the year, it’s amazing how much he has changed.  He looks different, acts different, and has a slightly fire-brandish personality now! He was such a sleepy, mellow baby, and he’s certainly not that anymore.  But still, I now only have 17 years until he can legally vote/join the army/leave home in a socially acceptable way.  Since it’s been 18 years since I graduated from high school, time is taking on new and weird dimensions.

But, oh, how I love this baby!  It matters not if he screams and pushes me away, or sticks used Kleenex in his mouth, I love him so.  It’s amazing to love completely unconditionally and have no expectations of reciprocal behavior or rewards/benefits.  I totally get the power of parental love now.  I’ve never loved unconditionally, except perhaps Pumpkin and Albert.  But most human love is so hard and complex.  We need ways of acting/speaking/being from other people.  We need them to know what to do and how to soothe the restlessness that is in every conscious (human) soul.  Parental love seems so simple and perfect by comparison.  We just need them to keep breathing and keep going, for as long as we live.  I’ve watched enough reality television to know that this love will probably change and become more complex as he becomes who he is destined to be (totally awesome?!), but for now, everything he does is amazing and without reproach.  I often wonder how a baby could be so perfect!

Some pics from the little family party we had (We ate pizza and I made small yogurt cakes with chocolate chips.  He ate an entire one, thus confirming his parentage.)